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Copyright N°. 



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COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



RANDOM SHOTS 



E. MARIE SINCLAIR 




BOSTON 
RICHARD G. BADGER 

%\)t (Sortjain JJregg 
1910 



Copyright 1909 by Richard G. Badger 
All Rights Reserved 






77?* Gorham Press, Boston, U. S. A. 



CLA2535 



TO MY MOTHER 
This Book is Lovingly Dedicated 



CONTENTS 



A Number of Things 



ILLUSTRATIONS 



The Pictures Brought to Mind 



LINES TO A CRITIC 

I go my way, and if my path 

Be understood by any, 
I go my way with cheerful heart 

Forgetful of the many. 

Whatever people choose to think 
So long as one can share 

The path with me, I little heed 
What face the world may wear. 

The world condemns the silent few 

It cannot understand, 
So must I wander all my days 

A stranger in the land. 



AT THE CROSS-ROADS 

Oh, ponder no more the question 
Of our life here amidst the waste, 

The things that might be, — that may be, 
Ah, friend of mine, make haste! 

The past is cold and buried, 

A sad road wearily paced, 
This glorious path lies before us, 

Ah, heart of mine, make haste! 

The future its chalice is holding, 

New life, like old wine, we may taste, 

Your hand, let us speed through the darkness, 
Dear love of mine, make haste! 



8 



THE MIGHTY ATONE 

The tasks we set ourselves to do 

Are ruined by our fears. 
The lack of courage only brings 

The bitterness of years. 

That we would do — that can we do, 

For each man is a soul 
Put here to work his little day 

And help make up a whole. 



THE POINT OF VIEW 

The clouds are gone, the sun has come, 

My sorrows all are dead. 
I turned my vision upside down, 

And saw my joys instead. 



10 



REST 

Her eyes were as soft as the skies, 

And I saw in them shine 
A love that was born but of pain 

As they gazed into mine. 

I folded my love in my arms, 
Held her close to my breast, 

She trembled, her eyes closed in peace, 
And her Soul was at rest. 



11 



DISAVOWAL 

See, I would give thee back thy heart, 
That love were not forsworn, 

And yet 'twas only yesterday 
You gave it me at dawn. 

Yet would I give thee back thy heart, 

Such love is not for me. 
So take and guard thy treasure well — 

And leave me memory. 



12 



TO J. L. 

Had I but known the prompting 
Of the harshly spoken word 

That was born within a sorrow, 
Of which I had never heard, 

I had never judged so sternly, 
Had not turned away, mine own, 

But have stayed to share the darkness 
That you might not weep alone. 



13 



LOVE'S DESIRES 

Love me, love, with all thou art, 

Soul and spirit feeling, 
All the love within my heart 

Softly o'er thee stealing. 

Love me with thy quick drawn breath, 

Caused by love's own fire, 
Love me in thy calm repose, 

Knowing not desire. 

Love me in life's cloudless day 
When the world is gladdest, 

Love me through the starless night, 
When my heart is saddest. 

Love me to life's very end t| 
As thy love shall guide thee,1 

Love me with thy last^drawn^breath, 
Love me, love me, love me. 



14 



MY STAR 

I sought one true star in the Heavens, 

My course to set as my bark 
Drifted out, with mists enshrouded, 

For I lived in a night that was dark; 
But I steered in faith, though blindly, 

By faith that is born of love, 
When I crossed the bar in safety, 

Lo! My lost star was shining above! 



15 



DAY 
To M. M. B. 

Awake! for the day is here, 

And the world laughs up at the sun, 
Each flower and bird is glad, 

For day is begun. 

Come, wake! for the day is here; 

In the sky is the purple dawn. 
Awake, awake, and be glad, 

For day is born. 



16 



THE LOVE OF MEN 

I dreamt he slept within thy arms, 
In the sleep that knows not the day; 

His form lay tranquil as a child's, 
The soul had passed away. 

I dreamt I took him from your arms, 
When lo! he turned his eyes to mine, 

I told him of the gratitude 

That filled my heart and thine. 



17 



THE PROPOSAL 

Come live with me and be my love, 
No harm shall e'er come to thee, 

For I will be thy guardian brave — 
If only thou wilt love me. 

Nor time, nor space, nor circumstance, 
Shall e'er our two lives sever, 

And I will serve thee, dear, alway, 
For all time and forever. 

Then come with me, and be my love, 
Thy passion thus shall prove thee. 

We'll leave behind dull grief and care, 
If thou wilt only love me. 



18 



LINES TO 

Oh do not judge me as the others judge 
More easily from life I might depart? ' 

1 hen e er thy more than witching ways forgot 
That man has but to see, to love, dear heart. 

Like others, love, I may have wandered far 

A aV'u C thr ° ne ° f loVe ' no throne s ° blest, 
And all the journeyings are soon forgot, 

When at thy feet the traveler seeks rest 



19 



RETRIBUTION 

To gain her love I lived in vain, 
So that this love be born, I died, 

And from the grave of my old self 
Into the soul of things I cried. 

Then deep within the grave I slept, 

And sleeping there I dreamed 'twas death, 

And so the hours passed me by, 
While of my life I drew no breath. 

Warm sunlight shone upon my grave 
And woke me lying stiff and cold, 

Then staggering to my knees I knew 

That years had passed — that I was old. 

Then her, to whom my soul had cried, 
I sought among forgotten ways, 

I found her as of yesterday, 
The years had passed for her as days. 

I spoke to her remembered words, 

For love in death had lived through pain, 

I offered this new self to her 

And all of life that should remain. 

Then through the memory of the past 

She wandered back through paths that led 

To an old grave unkept and rude, 
And there she wept beside her dead. 

20 



THE DAY 



The daylight has come, 

And the shadows take flight. 
All the anguish and sorrow 

Have passed with the night. 
The world and the flowers 

Have opened their eyes, 
Earth's laughter at waking 

Resounds to the skies. 



The twitter of birds 

Singing high in the nest, 
The child and the laborer 

Join in with the rest. 
Winds whisper to tree tops 

A song of the spring, 
All nature in waking 

Finds voices to sing. 

To each one his day task, 

To each one his play, 
To the child mind its pleasure 

At the break of the day. 
With power or passion 

O'er mountain and plain, 
Each soul again follows 

The plan it has lain. 



21 



In love or in hatred 

Each power is wrought, 
To one goal or another 

The tribute is brought. 
Then each to his folly 

From the pole to the pole, 
For again the night cometh 

So the truth for my soul. 



22 



LINES TO 

To me, dear love, you never can grow old, 

For you are now, — as when I first espied — 
Your more than perfect grace, the winter's cold 

Ne'er harmed so rare a plant, — this is my pride. 
Of all fair women, you alone are best 

If to no other eyes, dear heart, than mine; 
Your lips do bring my weary eyelids rest, 

And so of all men I alone am blest. 

From you I'd not be absent in the spring, 

Else all the beauties of the land were gone. 
Close by your side I could not feel the sting 

Of bitterness or of a profFered wrong. 
From you I'd not be absent in the day, 

What use of light; it were but dark to me, 
Away from you, I could not act Life's play, 

What use were life, if lived away from thee ? 



23 



UNATTAINED 

A reaching out for something 

That I cannot define, 
Reaching out for something 

That never will be mine. 

A reaching out for something, 

Above, within, beside, 
A ship without a rudder, 

Just floating on the tide. 

Still reaching for that something, 
A wanderer, and alone, 

A seeker for the answer 
To a question yet unknown. 



24 



THE SERVANT 

Bid me to die and I will die, 

Thy guarding soul to be, 
Or bid me live, and I will live, 

Devoting life to thee. 

A love as true, a love as deep 

As my love is for thee, 
You will not find in all the world, 

For such love could not be. 

Bid me be gone, and I'll be gone, 

Since that be thy decree, 
And I will seek some silent place 

Wherein to dream of thee. 

Bid me to stay, and I will stay, 

Thy willing slave to be, 
Content to serve you through all time, 

If you but smile on me. 

Thou art the only God I know, 

And death is only where 
You frown on me; if you but smile, 

My Paradise is there. 



25 



FRIENDSHIP 

The greatest account of friendship 
That man can hope to lend 

Is sincerity, knowledge, and honor 
To the one he calls his friend. 

The greatest of all demonstrations 
That gives of itself the best 

Must advance in full understanding 
And stand the hardest test. 

'Twill forego ambitious calling 

Of reputation and fame, 
To patiently work and struggle 

For what his friend became. 



26 



FRIENDS 

Gather ye friendships while ye may, 
The days of life are fleeting. 

Make welcome him that comes to-day, 
With royal, earnest greeting. 

Not heav'n's lamp, the rising sun, 

To light us on our way, 
But friendship's sun, that never sets, 

Throughout eternal day. 



27 



THE GIFT 

I fain would kiss thy lips, my sweet, 

But since this may not be, 
I'll often come to this same room 

Where thou hast talked with me. 

I fain would hold thee close, my sweet, 

But since this may not be, 
I'll hold the memory of a smile 

That thou didst give to me. 

I fain would have and keep thee, sweet, 

But since this may not be, 
I'll give to thee this heart of mine, 

And thou shalt set it free. 



28 



THE SILENCE OF LOVE 

I speak not, yet my heart is glad, 

Deep love like mine ne'er told should be, 

Such love as this doth ever live 
In silence, and invisibly. 

Within my soul love doth abide, 
A wondrous picture in my heart. 

If I but spoke of it aloud, 

Profaning it, love might depart. 

Although I give no outward sign, 

Love's silence holds love's throbbing life, 

And though I give no outward sign, 

Love's calm controls love's inward strife. 



29 



TWO ROSES 

The red rose sings of its passion, 

While the white rose sings of its love, 

Till listening, heaven seems nearer 
Than all of the heights far above. 

Petals of each I would send thee, 
With the red bud's heart of fire, 

And the soul of the pure white rose 
To calm the storms of desire. 



30 



WEALTH 

I would not ask for a kiss, 
Just merely a passing smile, 

The first I could not deserve, 

The last would make life worth while. 

So, though my desire be great, 

I ask but the smile of thee. 
If thou but grant me this boon 
The richest of men I'll be. 



31 



SUPPLICATION 

The night is drear with sorrow, 

Dull grief will not depart. 
The coming of the morrow 

Lies heavy on my heart. 
Grant, Lord, one supplication, 

Thine aid in mercy lend, 
Alone, I would not suffer, 

Grant me one faithful Friend. 



32 



THE UNBIDDEN GUEST 

Unbidden he stood on my threshold, 
And I gazed at Sorrow's face. 

Then in fear I begged him to leave me, 
But he stayed there firm in his place. 

So I closed my eyes to his presence, 
In cowardice sought to rejoice, 

And thus empty years slipped onward, 
But I could not still his voice. 

Then one day my eyes sought his bravely, 
When life taught me to understand. 

And, behold, he suddenly vanished, 
And Joy stretched forth his hand. 



33 



RESOLVES 

Must I weep amid despair, 
Just because she does not care, 
Are not other women fair ? 
Why should I in her believe ? 
If I died she would not grieve. 
Is she not like all the rest ? 
One can't say, this woman's best. 

Yet the woman's eyes implore 
Me to love, and love the more. 
When I know her heart is stone, 
Loving just my love alone, 
Why should I this passion feed, 
Giving to an empty need, 
Giving all to wanton greed ? 

Must I weep amid despair, 
Just because she does not care, 
Are not other women fair ? 
Would she make me happier than 
Any other woman can ? 
Since for me she does not care, 
I will seek a maid elsewhere. 



34 



PARTED 

You stand before me and your eyes meet mine 
With yearning, yet, I may not touch your hand! 

Your lips are dumb, alas! they give no sign, 
But, oh, with all your soul you understand! 

Ah ! God give us but this, — the joy to know 
The power of love that each to each may cry 

Across the space, though bitter tears may flow, 
Still hope lives on and love can never die! 



35 



THE UNKNOWN GRAVE 

Lay a red rose upon my grave, 

No flower of dismal hue, 
A crimson bud of smouldering fire, — 

The heart I gave to you. 

The heart was true, the spirit weak, 

To leave you thus alone, 
Yet lay a rose upon the grave, 

And leave uncarved the stone. 



36 



GIVE 

Oh, tender eyes, how truly blest 
Am I, who find within thy depths — 
True rest. 

Oh, sweetest smile, around me lay 
True peace, and banish fears of — 
Yesterday. 

Break, break the bonds that hold me fast, 
Grant me thy heart — that I may live — 
At last. 



37 



THE PLAGUE 

What is love, or who can tell us, 
How the pleasing plague steals o'er 

Heart and soul and mind and spirit, 
Ruling all forevermore. 

Is it joy, or is it anguish, 

Peace or strife, or all in one ? 

He who seeks to live without it 
Has not lived when life is done. 



38 



THE CALL 

Thy love was like a sunbeam 
That swept across the sky, 

Dispelling all the dismal clouds, 
As it flashed by. 

Thy love was like a spirit 

That watched the night with one, 
Whose head was bowed in sorrow 

Till night was done. 

Thy love was like a vision 
That beckoned from afar, — 

I traveled far life's weary road — 
And found my star. 



39 



TO-DAY 

What can I say 
This woeful day 
Unto my love ? 
What star above 
Shall guide my heart 
To act its part 
To-day ? 

Love without end 
Her spirit bend, 
We stand apart; 
Torn is my heart, 
Life is so brief, 
Hark to my grief 
To-day. 



40 



THE OPEN ROAD 

Oh, give me not the easy life — 

Of men that never roam, 
A life that's all conventional, 

The narrow joys of home. 
Oh, keep your righteous, petty joys, 

Yet with me not debate; 
I leave to you the smooth straight road — 

So leave to me my fate. 
I ask no easy route through life, 

Yet love shall keep me warm. 
I'll buy my loves as Arabs buy, 

And they shall share the storm. 
My path may lead through mists and gloom. 

Or else be smooth and straight, 
So leave me to my joys, or doom — 
The masters of my fate. 

You seekers in the world, know tears, 

Our world brings forth no sigh — 
We're singers in an empty day, 

And in the night we die. 
At stern reality we laugh, 

Her threats do not abate 
The joys that she denies to you 

In moulding out our fate. 



41 



LINES TO P. L 

Beside thy life, dear love, 
The light of day is not so fair, 
The sun, nor sky, nor clouds, 
For there is naught above 
Compared to that dear life of thine, 
Wherein my heaven seems to lie, 
And goals men set their hearts upon 
Are empty when compared to mine. 

So cold and dark is night 

By thy soft radiance, 

The moon and stars are dull 

As thy dear eyes are bright, 

For life or death I have no fear, 

For thou art all of me, 

And though I lift my eyes on high, 

My Paradise is here. 



42 



THE DREAM COUNTRY 

I long to find a country 

Where life is but a dream, 

Where fame is less than nothing, 
And men are what they seem. 

A land of fields and forest, 
With a moss bank for my bed, 
With the open seas beyond it, 
And God's sunshine over head. 

And one to share it with me, 
Who can feel and understand 

The mighty truths of nature, 
In this undiscovered land. 



48 



NOT BECAUSE 

It is not because your heart is mine, mine only, 
Not because your love is vast as skies above, 

Nor because your life is linked to mine by some 
strange power, 
That you stir the wellsprings of my deepest love. 

It is not for any one of these dear virtues, 

Nor for aught that you can think or say or do, 

For though life can give and take away these 
treasures, 
Death can never change the soul of you. 



44 



THE INNER LIGHT 

In that same sky of deepest gloom, 
You've seen the bright stars shine. 

From out a life of misery, 
Sweet memories are thine. 

Then seek within yourself the star, 
To guide you on your way, 

Nor think the world is dark, because 
You cannot see the day. 



45 



THE DREAMER 

How sweet a thing it is to dream 

Beside the fire's glow; 
My longing interwoven with 

The lights that fail and grow. 

Alluring voices bid me on, 

For all that day is done, 
To royal plans, to hopes awing, 

To what was lost, new-won. 

Outside the door of Dreams 'tis cold; 

Inside a fire's gleam, 
A kiss will touch the Dreamer's eyes 

And prove 'tis but a dream. 



46 



LOVE'S DESTINY 

Why should I seek for what can ne'er be mine ? 
Thou art as far above me as the cloud that sweeps 

the sky. 
And what were man that he should seek this thing 

divine ? 
I would not even touch thy hand, lest touching it 

the dreamer should awake. 
To wander in a world so far above this earthly 

world of ours, 
That this poor life were worthless quite, possessing 

not thy love, 
Not this my dream. I would my soul should seek 
Through heights and depths, through time and 

space and realms, 
That in some far and distant land beyond our 

dreams 
My soul your soul should know and greet, 
And there possess, in all the depths its constancy 

shall prove, 
And when that day shall dawn, love's fire of unrest 
Shall see and know its own, 
And lull itself to sleep upon your breast. 



47 



WHITHER 

We come here all unknowing 

The right or wrong, 
To seek our separate pathways 

With tears or song. 

We give a few our friendship, 
Within the space we dwell, 

We bow our heads in greeting 
Or in farewell. 

And when beyond the curtain 
We pass with lingering sigh, 

The path must still stretch onward, 
God knoweth why. 



48 



FIDELIS 

I wandered alone in the darkness, 
And within it a dream was born, 

For a woman rose up to greet me, 
When behold! 'twas dawn. 

Through the day that was born of sorrow, 

Her presence seemed to fill 
The spot where I had rested, 

And the dream face lingered still. 

Until twilight shadows lengthened, 

She taught me of love divine, 
And when I had passed beyond calling, 

Her lips were still warm on mine. 



49 



I- 



LOVE'S AGES 

If the world were very young, dear, 
And your love I sought in vain, 

I had failed in life's great purpose, 
And all else were barren gain. 

If your heart were mine alone, dear, 
In to-day's dull world of strife, 

Just your smile would banish sorrow 
And make glad the song of life. 

If the world had passed away, dear, 
And your soul with mine stood free, 

This indeed were highest heaven 
On through all eternity. 



50 



WORDS 

Just a word that she had spoken, 

Yet it lighted life's dark day, 
Making clear the deeper meanings, 
Just a word that she had spoken, 
As she passed along the way. 

Just a word that she had spoken 

In my hour of greatest pain 
Echoed in my heart forever, 
Just a word that she had spoken, 
Speaking many times again. 

Just a word she left unspoken, 

I sought through a mist of tears, 
But the voice was hushed forever, 
Just a word she left unspoken 
Shadowed all the empty years. 



51 



THE AWAKENING 
To L. B. 

A woman paused, and her eyes met mine, 

And she taught me how to live. 
So I gave her my soul, 'twas little enough, 

But the best that I had to give. 

So I lived for that night, for I loved for that night, 

Believing such love could be, 
And I staked my all, 'twas little enough, 

But all that there was of me. 

When morning came the woman had passed, 

'Twas only a dream, you said, 
So a broken heart is little enough, 

When all of the rest is dead. 



52 



CONSTANCY 

I love you, sweetheart — every dawn that brings 
The light to drive night's last dull care away, 

I stand beneath your window, but to sing 
Of love that ever finds your face more fair. 

I love you, sweetheart, — at the noontime hour 
Amid the sun's warmth shining from above, 

From out the silence I but send my heart, 
To tell you what my lips may not — of love. 

I love you, sweetheart, — as the twilight turns to 
dusk, 

When stars shine, not so brightly as your eyes, 
That seem to look within the soul of man 

To read there of the love that never dies. 

I love you, sweetheart, — all the day and through 
the night, 

With love that holds your purer love divine. 
So in my heart I say that which my lips withhold, 

Since all that I love most can ne'er be mine. 



$3 



EVENING 

The sunset has painted the harbor, 
And the moon creeps over the hill, 

All the world is a shadowy dreamland 
And the night is wondrously still. 

Some lights peep out from the windows 

Of the cabins across the bay, 
While my thoughts wander slowly backward 

O'er the joys of a summer day. 

Ah, now the sunset has vanished 
And the moon reigns all supreme, 

The land and sea turn to silver, 
And life and the world to a dream. 

But there are clouds over yonder, 
They are hiding the face of the moon, 

And the night so filled with beauty 
Must all be over soon. 

The years of our lives could be likened 
To the moon and the stars and the sun, 

For the clouds settle over life's evening, 
And at sunrise our life's work is done. 



54 



THE VOICE OF MEMORY 

Away, ye griefs, I know ye not to-night, 

For I must smile. 
Leave me in peace; thy taunts are ever near, 

Go for a little while, — 
For this one night, — I beg of thee depart, 

I must take light 

With me to-night, 
To her — to shine within her breaking heart. 

Ne'er again will I seek to delude thee, 

No need for fears. 
Surely for this one night you will spare me, 

From all the years. 
For all time will I weep, hearing thy cry, 

Just for to-night, 

Give me the light, — 
To take, and give to her, lest she should die. 



55 



THE GARDEN BEAUTIFUL 

My love, it is a garden 

Where things are what they seem, 
There loyal hearts do dwell, 

And Cupid reigns supreme. 

My love, it is a garden 

Where fairies come and go. 

There birds sing all the day, 
And sweet thought flowers grow. 

Then come within my garden, 
And when you stand before 

The smiling face of Cupid 
You ne'er will leave us more. 



56 



FOR THE CHILDREN 



AT NIGHT 

Each evening when I've had my tea 
I sit and o'er my school books pore; 

I like to know each lesson well 
And keep on learning more and more. 

And when at eight I go to bed 
I learn of wondrous fairy things, 

I travel over all the world 
Upon a pair of silvery wings. 

But then when I wake up again 

I'm tucked up warmly in my bed — 

And so I guess I never moved, 

Just dreamed about it all, instead. 



59 



THE ROBIN'S COURTSHIP 

A robin there was who lived in a tree, 
And she was as proud as a robin should be, — 
And all of the robins who lived in the wood 
Courted this robin as brave robins should. 

But this fair robin who lived in the tree, 

Was haughty and proud, as a robin should be, 

And she turned in disdain from each poor robin's 

love, 
And sang all the day in her nest up above. 

But one day a robin came over the sea, 
And perched himself on a branch of her tree, 
Then he sang of his love in a language quite new, 
Of his love that was strong, — in a voice brave and 
true. 

And soon these robins who lived in a tree, 
Were happily wedded, as robins should be. 
Then they lived in the wood, or they sailed o'er the 

sea, 
And their love was as strong as a true love should be. 



60 



THE SHADOW CHILD 

I have a little comrade 

Who stays with me all day, 

He comes at early morning 
And watches all my play. 

He never answers questions; 

Though I shout with all my might, 
He never seems to hear me, 

And he often hides from sight. 

Sometimes he's short and funny, 
Or he stretches thin and tall; 

He lies upon the carpet, 

Or he runs right up the wall. 

We often race together, 

But he always wins from me — 
I have to run around things, 

While he slips through, you see. 

I asked my nurse this morning 
If 'twas proper or quite right 

Without an explanation 

He should go away each night. 

She told me all about it, 

And from what she says it seems 
He plays with other children 

While I'm in the land of dreams. 

61 



THANKSGIVING DAY 

Thanksgiving Day again is here, 
And with it comes the winter's cheer, 
Tobogganing and skating, too, 
And lots of things you love to do. 

Big turkeys on the table lie, 
Cranberry sauce and hot mince pie, 
And you can romp and laugh and play, 
For there's no school to spoil the day. 

And later in the fire's gleam, 
There's nuts and things fit for a queen, 
And tales of past Thanksgiving fun, — 
When all the grown-up folks were young. 

Then father tells of college days, 
Of famous games and football plays, 
And when the stories all are told, 
You wish that you could be real old. 

But don't you worry, little man, 
Enjoy the things that children can. 
There's lots of time to be grown up, 
So drink the joys of childhood's cup. 



62 



PLANS 

When I am grown to be a man, 
HI do the things that big men can, 
And let the other little boys 
Play with all my favorite toys. 

One day I'll be an Indian brave, 
And every scalp I get, I'll save; 
I'll be a chief of great renown, 
And wear red feathers in my crown. 

And then, maybe, I'll go and fight, 
And wear a sword that's sharp and bright; 
I'll be a captain brave and tall, 
And all my enemies will fall. 

I change my mind each day, you see, 
'Bout when I'm old, what I will be; 
It's pretty hard for me to say, 
When I'm grown up, what game I'll play. 



63 



MAN'S ESTATE 

When I am grown to be a man, 

A pirate bold I'll be, 
And nurse won't dare to scold me then, 

She'll run away from me. 

I'll take a mighty ship to sea — 
My crew will have to mind, 

I will not go to bed at all, 

And treasures rare we'll find. 

I'll build a candy palace on 

An island in the sea, 
And there I'll rule with lordly might 

And nurse shall go with me. 

For sometimes I'll get tired out 

With the duties of a king, 
Then nurse can rule awhile, you see, 

For she knows everything. 



64 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



